I guess that would be the best description of my specific purpose for this particular blog. We all have our own opinions about every subject; the problem is not so much in the agreement or disagreement of them but the apparent overwhelming need of some to shut up those that don't necessarily agree with someone else's opinion.
Yeah I know, a very long-winded sentence. Yet that's the essence of a great deal of what I've been feeling for a long time. And that involves just about every aspect of my life right now whether it's with family, friends, work, religion or politics and that's just a tip of the iceberg.
Having been associated with the Internet for nearly 20 years, I think I've participated in just about every form of 'interactive association' out there. I've been part of both the public and private chat rooms with AOL, I've been in a lot of AOL sponsored forums as well, covering a multitude of subjects and issues. I've had accounts with Twitter, Yedda, and LiveJournal and am still active in a number of the forum and debate arenas. It is truly amazing to me, the number of completely closed-minded people there are out there in this world. It is no wonder that there is so much discord.
I'm pretty frustrated right now with the Internet in that I accept the fact that things often progress and/or improve, but those are terms that are in reality a matter of opinion. I had a long time running blog of various rants that I can no longer access because they have switched formats that do not cooperate with the older formats. So now I'm starting over. Whatever.
So, for the first time visitor, which I hope people read this post first, because this is more of a description of my personal attitude, as in about me personally so to speak rather than the blog itself. Also regarding this particular blog; while I am not a paid columnist or a professional blogger, this is a place for me to post either personal ‘Commentaries’ 'Editorials' or to just ‘Rant’ about something. The reference in the title to being "Personal Disputations" has a direct relevancy to the fact that this is my personal blog, it is not force fed to your computer. Therefore, if you don't like what is being said here, then just like with your TV or your radio; you can turn it off or change the channel.
I'm not out here for the specific purpose of offending anyone, yet at the same time I'm not going to walk on eggshells either just to insure that I please everyone that just happens to stumble across this blog and decides to start reading it. After all it is a personal opinion blog, I'm not obligated to stick to a certain subject or patronize any readers with regards to the chosen subject. These are my personal feelings about the given subject of the post. Which is primarily due to the fact that a number of years ago I personally adopted the quote of "Acceptance in nice, approval not required" and that's the way it is. You don't have to like me and I don't have to like you. I'm not here to please you and you're not here to please me. But then again, that's life in a nutshell.
This is not going to be a blog that has a single subject or a particular focus and runs on continuously about it. I can log on here in the morning, read some article that is political in nature, and either post a commentary or rant about it, then turn around in an hour and do the same thing about another article that is say religiously oriented, or talk about something that happened to me personally that day. Then again, I may choose not to log on here at all for a couple of weeks or maybe a month. Whatever the case may be it’s my right to either praise it or rant about it. That's my choice as much as it is your choice not to read it.
Although I was born and raised in Ohio, which is geographically considered to be Mid-Western, I don't feel as 'at home' here as I should or thought I would. The greater majority of my adulthood has been spent away from my hometown of Lisbon, Ohio. It is rather amazing to me just how different people can be just going from one state to another much less almost across the country. I’ve lived in Ohio, Texas, Alaska, South Carolina and Pennsylvania; then spending a number of years in Europe, living in Germany, France, Italy, England and Ireland as well. All of which contributes to the fact that I have a very different perspective and opinion of people in general than those who have never been there.
It all goes to reinforce within my mind that our own personal life experiences are what play the largest factor in how we feel about something. If you have never experienced it, how can you really have an educated discussion about it? An opinion I can understand, but to ‘state’ that something is ‘this way’ or ‘that way’ in a factual manner when it has not been personally experienced is beyond me. Yet there are a number of those I call friend who seem to have what can only be defined as more than just an opinion on anything and everything, even if they’ve ‘never been there’ so to speak.
One perfect example is the fact that while I've been in the military yes, I have no personal experience upon which to draw or offer any real judgment of what goes on in a war or battle setting. Yet I know people who have never even been in any of the branches of the Armed Forces much less participated in a military confrontation who are very quick to offer their estimation about it.
I think the biggest difficulty for me in the area of communicating with others is that I've always been one who interprets what people were saying from a dictionary point of view. Meaning that I tend take what people say more in a literal way, in that my interpretation of what was said is based on the 'established' definition of what was actually said, not what was 'meant' by what was said. I’ve always felt that doing that would be more like "reading into” something and I have historically made it a habit to try never to read into what has been said regardless of the individual. This does not mean that I have never been left wondering what a person meant by whatever it was that they said. I know that for the most part as far as I’m concerned this is more due to what was not said rather than what was said.
In the over all I think most people are so caught up in their own little worlds that they fail to see just how much they infringe upon others. They either don't really listen to what they are actually saying or they don't have enough of a mastery of the English language to adequately articulate their thoughts into words, regardless of just how trivial it may seem to them as they are saying it. Yet too, there are those that just don’t care about how they say something.
Personally a more functional formula for effective communication includes socialization, which is an adequate combination of all parts of speech; meaning the enunciation, articulation, terminology as well as the proper blend of emotion. The emotional state of the speaker, whether it concerns the subject or the individual they are directly speaking to greatly influence’s all of the other aspects of what they are saying. A perfect example of this would be something someone said once in one of my spiritual growth sessions. "People may not always remember exactly what you said, but they will always remember how what you said made them feel."
While not as applicable in these [Internet] types of interactive associations, other forms of communication such as body language, facial expression and tone of voice are major factors in the way your words and meanings are interpreted. Because communication is much more than just the words we choose to express thoughts, feelings and emotions.
We can all recognize those who are listening just because they are trying to be polite, you can see it in their eyes, the ‘sly’ or ‘fake’ smile. We’ve all known the one’s that use simple little ‘fidgeting habits’ that let you know they aren’t interested or could care less about what you’re saying; those people who continuously look away from you while you’re talking or they sit there and pick invisible lint off their cloths, they play with their watch or a ring. They run the gamut of silent body language to the more assertive measures like the rolling of their eyes, heavy sighs, etc.
I've spent a bit of time in that description because I am fully aware of some of my own personal faults and I readily admit to them. Primarily as I’ve already stated that I do have the bad habit of mentally translating what someone says by my own dictionary applied understanding of the actual words they used, which may be in reality something entirely different than what they are actually meaning. An additional difficulty on my part in my own attempts to communicate with others, I have all too often applied my own level of sensitivity complicated by the "Paralysis of Analysis"; a condition that stems from what I now understand as my own innate fear of being misunderstood. All of that translates into the fact that it is rarely (if ever) my actual intention of misguiding someone or hurting his or her feelings or offending them.
I know that I’ve commented on it before, the “Lost Art of Communication” because it is rampant with the new technologies that seem to be taken so much for granted by those born after the “Baby-Boomer” generation. I believe they’ve been labeled as “Generation X”, a generation that is sometimes also called the “Nomad Generation.” In some ways it’s no wonder, life is changing so fast, almost right before their eyes; there is no real time to actually adapt to some of these changes before the next one hits. Personally, I’m happy to be part of the “Baby Boomer” Generation. I wouldn’t want to be a teenager again and face even half of what these kids face today.
Yet something that truly irks me to no end is the abbreviated manner of speaking that has found a home in our communications toolbox due to apparent need for speed texting. I know we’ve all seen it here on the internet, the way some people (not just teenagers) use language that is similar to acronyms rather than actual words. Just the fact that young people would rather sit there and type out text messages for sometimes hours at a time, yet can't dial a simple 10 digit number and actually communicate verbally with someone.
No longer restricted to Cell Phones “Text Talk” is now found on nearly every venue of the Internet, while not limited to it, it is more prevalent in social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace. Sentences like “How r u?” “Yeah FB and IRL” “OMG u C that!” “Nuthin to do tonight soo um texttt” “Had to do all that bc I haven’t dun nun.” You know, really, what’s up with all of that? I know these kids are not as illiterate as their communications make them appear.
Not to mention that there seems to be an additional language forming on the Internet. I see it used more commonly on Facebook than any other forum. What’s up with all the extra letters in a word? I see a string of letters like the S and the T at the end of so many “Status Updates” on Facebook.
I realize that Facebook, MySpace and other similar sites are ‘for fun’ yet at the same time it makes me cringe when I see all of that going on. It only gives credence to all the claims about how kids don’t know how to talk anymore; they don’t know how to spell correctly anymore. No wonder, in reality they don’t have to, they have their own language and it’s not the one I learned in school.
The overall need to be understood should not be considered the same as the need to have people agree with me as much as it is a sincere attempt to not offend someone. I believe that in most cases we can get our personal opinions expressed and explained properly if we make the attempt to approach it with the complete understanding that it is our opinion, no one has to agree to it much less share it.
The ability to understand someone is most often something that occurs when people actually ‘talk’ about something and ‘discuss it with an open mind’ in an effort to see the entire picture. Going back to the “Art of Communication” while adding the proper blend of something called “Empathy” or more commonly explained as ‘putting yourself in someone else’s shoes’ so to speak.
Thanks for ‘listening’!
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